Physical custody describes where the child physically lives. Most children live primarily with one parent (called sole physical custody), spending a specified amount of time with the other parent (called either visitation or parenting access).When children spend fairly equal amounts of time with both parents, the court refers to this type of living arrangement as Joint Physical Custody.

Joint physical custody

Joint physical custody takes various forms. Some children spend one week with one parent, and the next week with the other parent; others spend 3 nights one week with one parent, and four nights the next week. Various other permutations are also used (discussed later in this chapter), and as long as the children spend nearly equal time with each parent, the specific arrangement is not germane to the title. In this arrangement, children often think of themselves as having two homes. Click here for an article on joint physical custody.  

Compared to joint legal custody, joint physical custody is a relatively rare event, with national estimates ranging from about 10-20% of divorced families. It is also a difficult arrangement to maintain; studies show that many families who begin in dual residence arrangements move to more traditional schedules over time. This is due to the difficulty of maintaining such arrangements, as they require cooperation, organization, and flexibility. This scenario typically works best when the parents live near each other and transportation to and from school and extracurricular activities is easily resolved, logistically speaking. It also works best when parents are able to communicate and cooperate with each other about scheduling matters, and the child’s temperament is organized and relaxed when faced with multiple transitions. The pluses and minuses of such arrangements are discussed below.

Split custody arrangements: separating siblings

Generally courts will avoid separating siblings and placing them in different households.  Under some circumstances, siblings are split up. This is a practice better off avoided if possible, but there are certainly circumstances in which it makes sense. For an article on split custody, click here.  

For example, if one child has special needs and the other child taunts or torments that child, or if the children have unique educational needs that are best met in different districts, split custody may be the preferred option. In some cases, a female child is very identified with Mother and a male child with Father to such an extent that they request living apart to stay with the parent with whom they have sided. If your children are old enough to know what they want, and the situation makes sense given all other circumstances, consideration could be given to this option.

However, the children should not be divided for the sake of parental compromise. No matter how siblings do or don’t get along, childhood bonds between siblings are most likely to form in enduring ways when the children grow up together. This aspect of the children’s development should not be sacrificed for the parents’ wishes. 

Excerpted from Your Divorce Advisor: A Lawyer and a Psychologist Guide You Through the Legal and Emotional Landscape of Divorce (Simon & Schuster/Fireside 2001). For more information: http://www.yourdivorceadvisor.com/.

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