The craziness of the Tiger Woods news coverage has finally saturated all the way through, to the point where I even I needed to share my opinion before we all (hopefully soon) learn to live in a post-Tiger PGA world.
Mr. Woods allegedly cheated on his wife. A lot. The details revealed by the many, many people party to this conflict vary, but all I need to know is that Tiger could have been honest with his wife a long time ago about the feelings that lead him to cheat – distance in their relationship, a desire to meet the lowest common denominator of ethics among athletes, whatever. If he had been honest, he might have been able to have a quiet split, or possibly hold onto his marriage and his mult-million dollar endorsements. Instead, he’s in for a very long, contentious, expensive and embarrassing divorce.
Honesty might not guarantee a successful marriage, but it’s absolutely necessary for a peaceful divorce. Honesty with yourself, and with your spouse, gives you the power to identify the sources of your conflicts, clearly articulate needs, and productively work toward lasting solutions. Even if you have committed to all of the principles of a peaceful divorce, there’s probably been an issue where you’ve wondered if honesty is really the best policy. You may think to yourself that everything will go much more smoothly if your spouse doesn’t find out about that other credit card you maxed out, your feelings for your landscaper, or that you’re so unhappy that you caved on something important that you’ll be retributive later.
Think again. If you’re being forthcoming in every other aspect of your divorce process, you are in peril of losing all of the progress and good faith you built when what you’ve been hiding is revealed. If your divorce is already contentious, your secret is bound to come to light while attorneys are combing through your life. The risks of being dishonest during your divorce can add tremendous time and expense, and in some cases be considered perjury (http://www.facebook.com/#/notes/peace-talks-mediation-services/ethical-problems-if-its-your-hidden-income/201576389299). The risks will outweigh the rewards. For more guidance that Tiger wishes he’d had, read YourDivorce Advisor (http://www.amazon.com/Your-Divorce-Advisor-Psychologist-Emotional/dp/0684870681/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1260834339&sr=8-1).