Archive for the ‘Child Support Issues’ Category

Choosing an Evaluator

Wednesday, October 20th, 2010

For lawyers, litigants with a psychological history often present more complex cases in terms of client communication and bringing the client to an understanding of the risks, benefits and possible negative outcomes in the event of custody litigation. The assistance of an evaluating psychologist or other professional can be invaluable. Click here for more information.

Sometimes when a client feels that the court Family Relations Officer has not given him or her an adequate opportunity to explain the situation, it is helpful to have an independent evaluator appointed to give the client an additional opportunity to bring to the attention of a professional the problems that he or she perceives. Sometimes the process itself assists a client in coming to terms with the issues of the custody and visitation matter, by giving the client additional opportunity to be heard. The additional input and authority can be helpful in settling the case, even if it doesn’t differ from the recommendation of the court Family Relations office.

Typically, the evaluator will be permitted by the parties to communicate with the court Family Relations Officer, and the attorney for the minor children or guardian ad litem. In this way, each professional can assist the others in understanding the total picture of the family, and family dynamics. It should be underscored, however, that neither Family Relations nor independent evaluations are confidential; the court is entitled to full information contained in the evaluation.

Evaluators are most effective when one neutral professional is agreed upon by both parties. When choosing an evaluator, find someone with the appropriate background and experience. The parents of the family being evaluated are in a state of extreme emotional turmoil, yet they will be trying to make the best impression possible. The children may feel torn between two parents who cannot separate adult issues from children’s issues in the dispute. The evaluator you choose must be prepared for these conditions. He or she must therefore have a thorough understanding of the boundary issues that must be kept clear in a custody evaluation. The antidote is experience, training, and absolute integrity on the evaluator’s part.

It is helpful if the evaluator has experience testifying in court. Of course, even the most talented professional once had no experience, so this is not a prohibition for the selection process, but a witness who knows how to handle himself or herself can be crucial if a trial is involved. Equally important as other aspects, choose an evaluator with whom your attorney can work. The evaluator should not be a “hired gun” who will automatically testify for a client based on a personal relationship with the attorney, or who is known for personal biases (e.g., for mothers or for fathers). Rather, the lawyer should trust that the evaluator’s opinion is sound and will hold up under scrutiny. Respect between the professionals involved in your case can also help settle the case, as they guide you based on what they learn from each other. Click here for another terrific article.

Excerpted from Your Divorce Advisor: A Lawyer and a Psychologist Guide You Through the Legal and Emotional Landscape of Divorce (Simon & Schuster/Fireside 2001). For more information: http://www.yourdivorceadvisor.com/.

 For more information contact Peace Talks www.peace-talks.com 

(C) 2008  Peace Talks Mediation Services, Inc.

  • Share/Bookmark

Drawbacks to Family Relations Officers

Thursday, October 14th, 2010

However, there are several drawbacks to Family Relations officers. You aren’t likely to have a choice about the evaluator assigned to your family. Quality varies from officer to officer.  Most officers are well qualified and approach each situation with common sense, proficiency, and caring. Years of hearing the same types of stories over and over again, speaking with the same teachers over and over again, and experience with the family court judges has sharpened their skills in recognizing patterns of family interaction and predicting the likely outcomes of cases. Click here for more information.  

Another drawback is that the backlog of cases in many districts leads to a 4-6 month process for many evaluations. That is a long time in the course of a young child’s life.  Over six months, many routines are established that may be harder to change for your child or yourself.  Before deciding whether to take advantage of services offered by the court Family Relations Division, ask your attorney, friends, and courthouse personnel about the reputation of Family Relations in your jurisdiction. If you elect to hire an independent evaluator, the evaluation should take three to four months time from initiation to report dissemination, but rarely is a case resolved that quickly. Costs vary depending upon  the breadth of evaluation required. One study recently indicated that evaluations conducted by a psychologist cost an average of $3,000-$4,000, although the cost is often even higher.

So why hire an independent evaluator do an evaluation when (if) the court has one available for free?  Having a licensed psychologist or psychiatrist review the situation will give a broader perspective to the court than will a Family Relations study. While the court Family Relations Office’s and the psychologist’s roles may appear, on the surface, to be the same, they are actually complementary. The outside evaluator may offer training and background which the Family Relations Officers do not possess. For example, a psychologist may include psychological assessment using standardized tests (personality, to assist in diagnosis, or to uncover underlying emotional issues), open-ended or projective tests aimed at uncovering deeper psychological concerns or problems, and interviews with the parties and the children that focus more on the inner world and health of each family member. A psychiatrist offers special expertise when family members are taking psychiatric medications. Since these professionals have more experience and training in accurately diagnosing issues such as depression, alcoholism, personality disorders, and other more serious mental disorders which clients may have, their work can supplement, rather than duplicate, the work done by the court Family Relations Office. These professionals should also have specialized training in talking with children, and in understanding their conflicts from what they say, what they do not say, how they behave, and what their play indicates. Click here for more information.

Excerpted from Your Divorce Advisor: A Lawyer and a Psychologist Guide You Through the Legal and Emotional Landscape of Divorce (Simon & Schuster/Fireside 2001). For more information: http://www.yourdivorceadvisor.com/.

For more information contact Peace Talks www.peace-talks.com 

(C) 2008  Peace Talks Mediation Services, Inc.

  • Share/Bookmark

Attorneys and Guardians for Children

Tuesday, October 12th, 2010

If you have a contested custody matter which cannot be solved by initial mediation sessions, the court will generally appoint either an attorney or a guardian ad litem (latin “for the case”) to represent your children. The attorney for your children represents their legal interests just as your attorney represents yours, voicing their wishes and advocating for that position. The guardian ad item’s job is to give neutral information to the court about what is in the child’s best interests, irrespective of the child’s wishes. Typically, older children will get an attorney appointed, and younger children will get a guardian, especially if they are too young to talk. But this varies across states.  It will be either the attorney’s or the guardian’s responsibility to determine what the children want to do, or should do according to that adult’s judgment. The attorney or guardian can assist you in knowing how your child feels as the case progresses, and your child’s vulnerabilities which require attention. Click here for more information.

Evaluations of the Child and Family

When parents are disputing about child issues, then in addition to the court appointed advocates, the court typically orders an evaluation of the family to assist the judge in making decisions for the parents. The purpose of the evaluation is to provide the court with a full picture about the individual family members and their relationships to each other. This information will assist the judge in making decisions about parenting arrangements, depending upon the factors to which that judge decides to give most weight. 

Many courts have a Family Relations Office that will conduct this study for little or no cost. You may also wish to ask for an independent custody evaluation, which is typically performed by a social worker, psychologist, or other mental health professional that the court deems competent to evaluate your case for custody and visitation issues. Either you or the court could request and/or appoint an independent evaluator. Court-sponsored evaluations conducted by Family Relations officers typically include the following elements: the evaluator will speak with the parties together, separately, with the children alone, with the children and each party, with the teachers, day care providers, doctors, extended family and anyone else who has contact with the family and who would be able to comment on the parties’ parenting abilities. The Family Relations office study is a nuts and bolts analysis of the family situation, and the parental roles within that family situation over the last several years. Court sponsored evaluations have the benefit of being less expensive, and utilizing court-related personnel who have a great deal of experience with the judges and attorneys of the judicial district they work in. They are often expert investigators, within the standards of their practice. Click here to visit a website dedicated to guardians ad litem.  

Excerpted from Your Divorce Advisor: A Lawyer and a Psychologist Guide You Through the Legal and Emotional Landscape of Divorce (Simon & Schuster/Fireside 2001). For more information: http://www.yourdivorceadvisor.com/.

 For more information contact Peace Talks www.peace-talks.com 

(C) 2008  Peace Talks Mediation Services, Inc.

  • Share/Bookmark

The Special Features of a Contested Custody Case

Wednesday, October 6th, 2010

The court will often order mediation if you have not already tried to mediate your disputes with the help of a neutral third party. When trial seems imminent, the court may order an attorney for the children, or a guardian ad litem; these professionals act as advocates on the child’s behalf, charged of separating the children’s needs from the demands of either parent. The court may also order a psychological evaluation.  An evaluation of the family provides the court with information needed to ascertain the family’s special strengths, problems, and issues. These components are then used in a series of court proceedings, such as a pretrial and trial. For an article on the ins and outs of contested custody cases, click here

Court Ordered Mediation

In the course of a custody trial, the court will often ask you first to try and mediate the dispute with an officer of the court, which we will generically refer to as the Family Relations office. You also have the option of obtaining a private mediator. Typically, you will sit together with a mediator (sometimes two), and you will be expected to discuss what your concerns are about the other spouse and his or her abilities to care for the children and address their needs, and to explain what you would consider an ideal situation to be. The more reasonable and willing to negotiate that you are, the more likely it is that the mediator will be able to help you resolve the matter.  Mediation is not about “strategy” or about “winning”.   It is about being reasonable, organized, and succinct.  By the time you get to the mediation, you should be  prepared with your idea of a viable custody and visitation plan. You then want to organize yourself to present it in the best way possible. Try to stay out of the past, and focus on the future. Always listen very carefully to what is being said by your spouse. Try not to let your excitement about making your presentation result in a failure to listen to what your spouse or the mediator says. For an article on court ordered mediation, click here.

Excerpted from Your Divorce Advisor: A Lawyer and a Psychologist Guide You Through the Legal and Emotional Landscape of Divorce (Simon & Schuster/Fireside 2001). For more information: http://www.yourdivorceadvisor.com/.

For more information contact Peace Talks www.peace-talks.com 

(C) 2008  Peace Talks Mediation Services, Inc.

  • Share/Bookmark

Personal Assessment: Parenting Plan

Monday, September 27th, 2010

Am I doing everything I can to create a positive co-parenting environment that allows our children to have maximum access to and support from each parent? Creating a viable shared parenting arrangement requires a lot of patience and turning the other cheek. My children will benefit, and over the long run, it will help keep our divorce a productive experience.

Do the living arrangements, decision making plan, and actual schedule fit with who my children are at the present time? Gearing the schedule to the age and developmental needs of each child helps ensure its effectiveness.

Is the parenting plan specific enough to cover most likely situations at present and in the near future? Do we have a back up plan for resolving differences that will inevitably arise? Specificity helps maintain predictability and keep boundaries straight. Our plan supports our separateness without seeming burdensome. It leaves space to offer and ask for flexibility as needs arise. Click here for more resources.

Am I doing my part to maintain the plan and ensure its effectiveness for my children and all involved? Am I letting negative emotional responses leftover from the marriage interfere with implementation? If we each do our best to make this work, it will work out well.

Are our child support payments determined accurately and with fairness? Child support can be financially burdensome, but it benefits my children. I still wish to provide for them in the best way I can. That is one way I can protect them from negative impacts of divorce. Click here for a host of information about children and divorce.

Excerpted from Your Divorce Advisor: A Lawyer and a Psychologist Guide You Through the Legal and Emotional Landscape of Divorce (Simon & Schuster/Fireside 2001). For more information: http://www.yourdivorceadvisor.com/.

For more information contact Peace Talks www.peace-talks.com 

(C) 2008  Peace Talks Mediation Services, Inc.

 

  • Share/Bookmark

Where Child Support is Spent

Wednesday, September 22nd, 2010

If you pay child support, you don’t have any say in how it is spent by the recipient.  That sounds harsh, but it’s true.  If you are legitimately concerned that you’re paying support and that the recipient is buying drugs, taking expensive vacations leaving your child at home, or making other inappropriate expenditures, you look at changing residential custody arrangements, not controlling the child support. Each state’s guideline calculations take into account the fact that the person with whom the child lives will have to have a larger home or apartment because of the child; perhaps a newer, larger car; and any number of “hidden” expenses (insurance, fenced in yard) over and above the obvious expenses like school lunch and diapers.

If you are concerned that the support you pay will not be used for the children’s benefit, you may wish to negotiate specific payments that you can make directly on behalf of your children in exchange for a reduction in the amount of support you are required to pay to the other parent. For example, you could put the money into a trust fund for the child’s college education. Or, you can pay the daycare provider or school tuition directly, and receive a dollar-for-dollar reduction in your support amounts. You can work to fashion an agreement which assures that the basic needs of the children are met no matter how financially irresponsible the other parent. Use an attorney or mediator to assist you in creating a plan. Click here for good article on the mis-spending of child support.

At all costs, however, keep the interests of your children in mind. You want them to have the best that you and your spouse can afford, and all of the opportunities that they would have had if you had remained married. Don’t let resentment about your loss of control of money interfere with what your children need, and what they deserve. Click here for an article on reducing conflict over child support.  

Excerpted from Your Divorce Advisor: A Lawyer and a Psychologist Guide You Through the Legal and Emotional Landscape of Divorce (Simon & Schuster/Fireside 2001). For more information: http://www.yourdivorceadvisor.com/.

For more information contact Peace Talks www.peace-talks.com 

(C) 2008  Peace Talks Mediation Services, Inc.

  • Share/Bookmark

More on Child Support vs. Custody

Tuesday, September 21st, 2010

In either case, using time with your children as a substitute for child support doesn’t pay off, in money or metaphoric terms! The money you hoped to save by having the children with you winds up being paid because the children actually have more needs than provided for by Child Support Guidelines. So you spend the money anyhow–you’re just writing the check to the grocery store rather than to your ex-spouse.

That may feel better, but it doesn’t change the amount of money spent. Some parents refuse to buy their children something they request, or spend any money on them, because “it costs too much” after they have won an exchange of more time with the children for paying less child support. In many of those families, the children were raised in middle class neighborhoods, where the now-divorced parents then refused to treat them like other local children were typically treated. This indirectly punishes your child for the divorce, and unfortunately, the message is not missed by most children. For a wealth of terrific information, click here.   

Perhaps you really don’t have the money. But if you deny money that you do have to your children, and then spend it on yourself or a new family, the children’s resentment . You will pay child support for up to 21 years. Your children are your children for the rest of your life.  Many parents wonder why their children are so angry at them, after he or she used money as a bargaining chip with the other parent. So now that parent has some extra money each month, but a lousy relationship with the children that is far more painful than budget cuts. The other irony is that in some of these situations the children tune into the issues, and redefine their relationship with that parent to be all about money. Like some bad fairy tale, the parent must now live in a self-created situation in which every day is a constant reminder about money,  the subject he or she wanted to avoid in the first place. The moral of the story: check your motivations and do not count your pennies at the expense of the big picture over time. For an article on cost effective parenting after divorce, click here 

Excerpted from Your Divorce Advisor: A Lawyer and a Psychologist Guide You Through the Legal and Emotional Landscape of Divorce (Simon & Schuster/Fireside 2001). For more information: http://www.yourdivorceadvisor.com/.

For more information contact Peace Talks www.peace-talks.com 

(C) 2008  Peace Talks Mediation Services, Inc.

  • Share/Bookmark

More Wage Information

Tuesday, September 14th, 2010

If you are contemplating divorce and realize that you will not be able to maintain your current salary after the divorce, i.e., you cannot work 25 hours of overtime a week and still see your children, reducing your salary now without later reprisal from the court will take planning. You will need to prove that your salary reduction was not voluntary or spiteful. A legitimate way of reducing your salary might be to change careers with the blessing of your spouse.  Another way is to reduce your overtime gradually, so that there’s not a sudden drop in income. You may want to ask for a transfer to a different department where overtime is not available or required, or where the salary is less (and perhaps the workload is less too). Asking your employer to delay or defer a raise, commission or bonus may reduce your salary but be careful about this, as you’re required to be honest about your assets and income. If you’re entitled to a bonus, and you don’t list it on your financial statement provided to the court, you may be found to have fraudulently misrepresented your income or assets–and the ramifications of such a finding by a judge will be much worse than the child support you would have paid! For excellent resources on co-parenting, click here.  

Oftentimes foregoing a raise, promotion, or bonus punishes your as well as the recipient of the support monies. For example, in Connecticut in 2000, support for one child is around 21% of your net income. So for each $1 in your pocket, you keep 79 cents. And that money doesn’t just disappear, it is part of your parenting responsibilities to provide for your child’s welfare. That commitment was made when you decided to have children. Divorce can certainly put a different spin on the feelings associated with support; try and separate those feelings from your sense of obligation and powerful desire to care for your child. Click here for another great article on co-parenting.  

Excerpted from Your Divorce Advisor: A Lawyer and a Psychologist Guide You Through the Legal and Emotional Landscape of Divorce (Simon & Schuster/Fireside 2001). For more information: http://www.yourdivorceadvisor.com/.

For more information contact Peace Talks www.peace-talks.com 

(C) 2008  Peace Talks Mediation Services, Inc.

  • Share/Bookmark

What are Child Support Guidelines?

Thursday, September 2nd, 2010

Each state has Child Support Guidelines which mandate how much support each spouse must contribute toward supporting the children, based on factors which each state determines. The “guidelines” are actually very specific laws with specific calculations. Pick up a copy of your state’s guidelines at your local courthouse, library, or a lawyer’s office. Many are even posted on the internet. You can use the Guidelines to estimate expected child support payments. Each state’s calculations are different, but each takes into account what both parents earn and some of the children’s basic expenses. Child support is also based on how much time the children spend with each of you. Click here to visit a website devoted to child support guidelines.      

Child Support and Income

In every state, both parents’ incomes are the key pieces of information used to calculate child support.  In addition to mandatory deductions for taxes, many states take into account the children’s health insurance premiums and daycare costs, but other permitted deductions from income influencing child support vary from state to state. If there are factors that allow deviations from the guidelines, they will be listed in the guidelines. Typical deviations may include: a child’s extraordinary medical or educational expenses, extraordinary access expenses (like plane tickets to visit an out-of-state parent), and a child’s own income or assets which may be used for his or her support.  Deviations are not permitted because of a parent’s extraordinary “credit card payments” or a “car loan payment”, or other expenses incurred by the parents. The law recognizes that your first responsibility is to your child, not to MasterCard or your landlord.

Most states consider any money which comes to you on a periodic basis to be income. This means that wages, commissions, bonuses, interest, dividends, worker’s compensation, unemployment compensation, and even social security are considered “income” in most states.  Income is income, even if you haven’t received it yet. For example, suppose you typically receive a bonus each year based on your sales performance. The cutoff date for your performance record is June 30 of each year. You receive your bonus in December of that same year.  If it’s September, your bonus will be considered part of your income even though it hasn’t been received by you yet.

Another example is stock dividends. The dividends are often automatically reinvested, so you don’t actually have the cash to spend. Because stock dividends are earned, and you could choose to liquidate rather than reinvest them, they are deemed to be income.

Social security comes with some complications, since it has special benefits for recipients with minor children.  In most cases, the benefits that children receive directly from social security will be considered when child support is calculated. Typically, however, the government-provided benefit is only part of what the parent will be required to pay on the child’s behalf.  How social security is treated varies across states, and will be clarified in your state’s child support guidelines. Click here for more information.  

Excerpted from Your Divorce Advisor: A Lawyer and a Psychologist Guide You Through the Legal and Emotional Landscape of Divorce (Simon & Schuster/Fireside 2001). For more information: http://www.yourdivorceadvisor.com/.

 

For more information contact Peace Talks www.peace-talks.com 

(C) 2008  Peace Talks Mediation Services, Inc.

  • Share/Bookmark

Bad Behavior has blocked 175 access attempts in the last 7 days.