Before you get started with your divorce proceedings, make sure you have your emotions in check. Being sure you are emotionally prepared will make a huge positive difference in how you experience your divorce itself, and also your life after the proceedings are finished. Check in with yourself and remind yourself of the following:

1. I know that my feelings will be complicated during this process, and I may be tempted to change my mind many times about decisions made.
2. I am ready to examine my feelings and to resolve them, not to let them negatively influence my decisions in my legal divorce.
3. I know that even in an amicable divorce, some conflict is inevitable, and I am committed to learning new ways to communicate with my spouse so that we are able to resolve the end of our marriage as peacefully as possible.
4. I am committed to cooperating with my spouse in resolving issues which affect both of us, and I need to be forthright about informing my spouse of my decisions and the rationales behind them.
5. I am emotionally ready to follow through on the legal requirements to obtain my divorce. If the divorce is not my choice, I am committed to accepting my spouse=s decision, and doing what is best for myself and my children legally and emotionally.

Come back to this checklist often throughout your divorce to help preserve your peace of mind.

Excerpted from Your Divorce Advisor: A Lawyer and a Psychologist Guide You Through the Legal and Emotional Landscape of Divorce (Simon & Schuster/Fireside 2001). For more information: http://www.yourdivorceadvisor.com/.

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