What is the time involved in Divorce Mediation?

Once you have contacted our office, we'll ask about your questions and get some basic information about your situation over the phone. If you and your spouse or partner are not calling together, we will then suggest ways to contact your spouse or partner to see if he or she is willing to mediate the dispute. There are several options, and we can discuss the pros and cons of each with you. Once this has been done, we set up an initial mediation orientation, or a mediation session.

We prefer to block out a three-hour time period for mediation sessions since we have found that 3 hours helps you make the most progress possible in one session without being too overwhelming. Anything shorter than three hours doesn't give us enough time to understand both parties' perspectives and get working on the problems. Our fee is paid up-front for the initial session so you don't have to pay a retainer or large deposit. You pay only for the time that you use, when you use it. Here is a copy of the Agreement to Mediate that all parties to the mediation will sign. We'll also ask you to fill out a Client Intake Form, with some basic information. (These forms requires Adobe Acrobat Reader to open. Download your free copy by clicking here.)

Before an actual mediation session, some people like to come in for a mediation orientation. To find out more, please click here.

The process involves sitting down at a table in a neutral location where both parties will have the opportunity to present their stories in a balanced and non-confrontational way. There are only two steadfast rules:

• One person speaks at a time.
• No name-calling.

After the ground-rules have been agreed-upon, the basic process is:

• We will do a short (10 minute or less) relationship intake;
• We brainstorm a list of issues which must be decided before an agreement can be reached (our agenda);
• We will start with the easiest issues and work our way up to the more difficult topics;
• Agreements on each issue are written down;
• We move onto the next issue until there are no more issues left;
• If more information is needed before a decision can be made, we also draft a “to do” list;
• The Mediator drafts a follow-up letter outlining agreements and what needs to be done before the next session, called a Mediation Summary Letter;
• You may wish to meet with your independent advisors (e.g., attorney, accountant);
• The next mediation session is scheduled.

Most couples resolve their entire case in just 2-3 sessions, although in complicated or hotly contested cases sometimes more sessions are necessary.

Sometimes, people find they need more information before they can make an agreement or before the session can continue. When that happens, we can either go on to another issue, or stop the session and make another appointment, so that you'll have time to gather the information you need, or speak to your accountant, lawyer, or other advisor(s). Mediation works best when people don't feel rushed to make an agreement and when they have all of the information they need to make a good agreement.
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